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Champions League


We’re back!!

There are very few Celtic games over the years I haven’t enjoyed watching, but Tuesday night in Israel was certainly one of them!
After ninety minutes behind the couch, we can dare to dream again. Having missed out on pot 3 by the narrowest of margains (Any kind of win in the Europa League group stage would’ve saw us there) we’re back in pot 4, and must face three higher ranked teams in the group stages.

I think we need to look at where we are as a club. In terms of Champions League Celtic’s target should be to qualify each year. Anything less is regarded as a diasppointment – let’s be honest. It’s not easy to get there, so we should savour the occasion when it arises.
Not that we should take the happy to be there approach and graciously accept defeat, but we’ll have a crack…

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The Secret Of Champions League Qualification

The Clumpany

Good Afternoon.

Once again we have to salute The Warbmeister. He’s the man with ALL the insights. What he doesn’t know about football isn’t worth even trying to find out.

This time he has come up with a solution to an issue which has perplexed some of the great managerial minds and thwarted some extraordinarily rich football investors: how to qualify for the Champions League.

We are fortunate indeed to have the Evening Shark-Jump around to bring us his profound observations, although quite why Warbo hasn’t set up his own consultancy to dispense his wisdom for thousands of pounds an hour is anyone’s guess. Maybe he simply believes in philanthropy? A possibility made all the more plausible given that he chose to become Sevco manager…

So what is the great secret that The Warbly One has uncovered?

“To get into the Champions League you need to win the Premiership…

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And breathe, we’re in the Champions League — Drop the Shoulder

After possibly the longest 90 minutes in our recent history we are back in the Champions League, scraping past Hapoel Be’er Sheva by the skin of our teeth. Whether down to a lack of ability, a lack of nerve, or a combination of the two, certain players highlighted tonight that they are not cut out […]

via And breathe, we’re in the Champions League — Drop the Shoulder

Hapoel Be’er Sheva v Celtic. 7.45pm. Tuesday. 23rd August.

Golazo Mendoza

Hapoel Be’er Sheva are pretty strong at home! They haven’t lost a league game at their Turner Stadium since Maccabi Tel Aviv won 1-0 there on the 30th August 2015. They won both their Champions League games this season against Sheriff and Olympiacos. Now they face a free scoring Celtic and have to overcome a 3 goal deficit to reach the Champions League group stages.

Celtic don’t have a great away record and Be’er Sheva will take hope from teams like Legia Warsaw turning them over 4-1 in Poland. Although, Legia (and Barcelona) aside the only other teams to produce a winning margin of 3 or more goals against Celtic in the Champions League this century have been

  • Sporting Braga (2010),
  • Manchester United (2008),
  • Benfica (2006),
  • Petrzalka (2005),
  • Shakhtar Donetsk (2004)
  • Porto (2001)

that’s just 8 times in 49 away games and comparing Be’er Sheva to the teams above I…

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The Men Who Stare At Shoes

The Clumpany

Good Evening.

Reports are reaching Clumpany Towers of record shoe sales in Scotland today. The industry has never seen anything like it. Extra leather supplies are being shipped in from around the world to meet the incredible demand.

The cause of this fiesta of footwear acquisition is very easy to identify. Pretty much the entire Scottish sports press pack have worn out their shoes and are expecting to ruin several more pairs over the coming months. The output of the Scottish sports media is famous for being pedestrian, and no one can hope to maintain that kind of standard in the long term unless you always have decent shoes.

But the usual wear and tear created by traipsing through the barren wasteland of mediocrity has recently been exacerbated by the arrival of some distinctly unwelcome news. Journalistic footwear across the country was severely damaged following the publication of the

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The Big Question Who Are Sevco5088

The Celtic Footsoldiers

The big question Who are SEVCO5088

#Sevco5088. On Twitter

The Curious Plaintiffs at Sevco 5088

With the emergence of the uefa letter stating Rangers 1872-2012 and sevco5088 are different entity’s in world football, the big question on everyone’s mind is when is the sfa and the Msm going to grow a set and call the bastard club it’s proper name SEVCO, the club Charles green created for the ibrox loyalists is and has nothing what’s so ever to do with rangers 1872-2012 deceased , when the proof is their for all to see even then the Scottish sfa and media sell the illusion to sevconia that they are the same club , fact is THEY CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH !!!!!

I’ve seen many a broken man wear that pityful blue rag of a shirt last 4 years , toothless gormeless Neanderthals , blinded by their own hype , something that…

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Impartial Journalism For Dummies — Wings Over Scotland

The BBC’s most prominent politics presenter Andrew Neil, today: There is, as there is so often, just one small problem. Because GERS itself (on page 7 here) tells us very clearly whose figures they are: The Office for National Statistics (ONS) and HM Treasury, which provide the data for both revenue and expenditure for Scotland, are…

via Impartial Journalism For Dummies — Wings Over Scotland

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8 Goals For,4 Against Time To Tighten That Defence

The Celtic Footsoldiers

In the last 2 games against Hapoel beer Sheeva and st Johnstone, the hoops have conceded 4 sloppy goals , yeah we scored 8 but this won’t always be the case , we can’t keep putting immense pressure on the forward line to score above average on goals week in week out …

To be fair the 2 against st Johnstone were more sloppy than the euro tie concessions but Brendan Rodgers has to sort this out quick, theirs no doubt the back line has been jigged around a lot due to injury , and a settled 2 centre backs hasent been established , Toure and o connell have played quite well but these mistakes as a whole have to be sorted out …

Should Celtic progress to the champions league proper I can see the gaffer maybe bringing in a player or 2 in the coming months….
to once…

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A Phone Call From Lionel Messi

The Clumpany

“Oi! Lionel! Clear off!”
Good Morning

In the manager’s office at Murray Park/ Auchenhowie, or whatever it is called this week, a telephone rings….

Mark Warburton:“Good morning. Former City Trader, Viceroy of Sevconia, and soon-to be conqueror of the galaxy Mark Warburton speaking. If your query is about seeing Dave King’s war chest, please continue to hold the the line. Until the end of time. Now, how may I help you?”

Unfamiliar voice:“Hello Mr Warburton. This is the representative of Lionel Messi. I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you.”

MW:“You’re going to get me out of here?! Brilliant! When and where do I start?”

Agent:“No, Mr Warburton, you misunderstand. We want to help you with your project”.

MW: “Well to be honest, the six people I have got collecting Mark Warburton press cuttings and putting them all in solid-gold albums are managing OK”.

Agent:“No, Mr…

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